Mother of a Non-Binary/Trans Child

 I was blown away by this book that is a Young adult oriented but so well written.  The Hate that You Give by Angie Thomas I was thinking about it because my child is running the Diversity Club at school, where they want to include all people who are under represented, not just LGBTQ+. 

 Today I did something for my self. I went curling. I am in an every other Saturday league so I get 12 games over the winter.  I got talking with my partner about a friend who I lnew in my home and realized that the person may have been trans if in today’s society.  It is a brave new world, one we should have had long ago

 If you accept that your child is non-binary or Trans, one thing you will need to learn (possibly) is how to be a good Ally. First, I am still learning.  I have found that some moms become more focused on making the world an easier place for their child, such as Toilets that could use a generic word or icon but use the Female/Male specific pictures and or icons instead. Some are quiet but are happy to tell friends and family who are curious, what they know and what their experience is with their child. Some read everything and anything to understand their child, and then become experts in the field. Some lose their child before they wake up. Before you alienate your child, at least do some personal learning about this, but if you want to be an Ally, here are some websites I am looking at right now. Transgender and Non-Binary People FAQ from Human Rights Campaign Non-Binary Inclusion from LGBT Foundation Persons of Nonbinary Gender — Awareness, Visibility, and Health Disparit...

 Being a Mom can be hard.   Being a Mom of a non-binary or Trans child... You have to thicken your skin.  You have to be prepared for every person to tell you how wrong your child is for 'believing' they are something that 'they obviously are not'.  So many people believe that gender is Female or Male, no shades of Gray.  There are many shades in between.   There is science to back up both the 'binary gender' and the 'multiple gender' ideas, so maybe more study is required, but I think right now, people are using science like other people use statistics.  To skew truths. It is a fact that more non-binary and trans children think about committing suicide.  It is a fact that more non-binary and trans children end up doing self harm. Is this because there is something wrong with them? I don't think so.  There is something wrong with society.   Us old folks think we understand the world.   The only way our world evol...

 My child has provided their new name to us.  I was using it on occasion but had not accepted it yet.  We had a name closer to their 'Dead name' (The name they were born with) that we had been using. The other day my child confronted me in a meek and cautious way, requesting that I now use the name and now my child goes by He/Him, confirming for sure that we have moved from non-binary to Trans. Now the difference is not much, it should be easy to call my child he/him and use the new name.  It was not overnight that my child asked me to do so. It just hurts.   My partner and I picked out that name with intention and with love.  It opened a whole gamut of worries we had tried to avoid until now as well. When will surgery be the next topic? What are the expectations moving forward? For my child, he has been moving slow for us old folks.   For us, it is the speed of a bullet, snuffing out hopes and dreams. Please note, if a child is willing to te...

 I wrote this awhile ago, but I am posting it now as my first for this blog. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just before the beginning of the 2021/2022 school year,  my tween daughter announced she was actually non-binary, with pronouns They/Them. If I had heard from a friend that their child had announced that I would have probably been rather unaware that it may be an issue (and it should not be generally). However, as a parent, I found out it sends you on a rollercoaster journey, similar to the death of a close loved one. My child is still awesome, but I have to admit the last year has been a struggle for me.  I had expectations that will never occur. I still had to accept that the daughter I had is no longer, or maybe never really was a "daughter".  I have to get used to new pronouns, new ways of dress, new concepts and new clothing requirements.  I have to learn how to navigate this brave new world. But my ch...